it wasn't like i was expecting you to be mad..
but i wasn't expecting you to be so comfortable with everything thats happening.
you surprised me.. and i don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing
but i guess i'm grateful because you're being so understanding

i know i'm lucky to have you..
and i don't want to lose you.

but this is just something i have to do.. for me, otherwise it will haunt me

& i know i have to open my eyes, and not be blinded by the images of the past and wanting things to return to the way they were.
i hope to god that i don't regret this.




**


broke broke broke!!!!!!!!
jobjbojoJBOBJOBJBBBBBBBBJOBBBBBBBBBBB

kay, don't mind the randomness
have lots of thoughts running through my head atm

feels like everything just shifted, like everything just changed so fast
i asked for it though
it's always been on my mind, but recently i've been consumed with constant thoughts
and that's why i think i just blurted everything out like that.. embarrassing or not, i had to get it all out.
i'm so glad it happened.. cos i know we owe it to ourselves.. we owe it to our friendship, with all the ups and downs we have had in the past.
this was our biggest obstacle though.. and it seems like we're on the path to fixing it.

it all just seems so surreal..
fingers crossed we don't screw this up

**

anyways, had dad's 50th suprise last week, his reaction was so funny... didn't realize it was for him til he looked up at the sign lolol

so holidays are here... :)
got a few things planned

• spend as much time as i can with dom before she leaves
  
• renew my friendships
• shopping?? :P
  
• dye my hair (as always)
• plan a weekend away at the hotsprings
• change the layout of my bedroom
• spring clean ... throw all my shit out that i don't need.. however i've done most of that already
• get a friggin job!!!!
• decide what i want to do for the future... immunology? genetics? pathology???
• help mum redecorate
• have an awesome Christmas and plan nye celebrations... have my new years resolution read
  
• go to qld!!!!
• decide how to invest my mulla... save it or buy a car.. or buy a second hand car..
• blog more
• have more dnm's
• take more pictures
• change the computer in my room with the other one
• get sims
• learn to cook & make cupcakes
• go on a picnic
• go to the zoo
• make an ass groove in tuans new car.. if he ever gets it
• spend more time with momo... get her hair cut by a professional for the summer!

that's about it!! but i really need to get a job.. hehe
anyways, gonna go nowsSs
pretty tired, might nap some more lol
really wanna play the simsssssssss
sighhhh

it's tragedies like this that truly make you appreciate each day
each friendship, each family member & each love..

it opens our eyes.. we are not promised tomorrow

i truly believe you're doing okay & that you're safe
your life has not ended, it has only changed..
may you experience eternal bliss and happiness.

i will continue to pray for your family and all your close friends.

i can't imagine what they are going through,
i wasn't especially close to you,
and even so.. my heart still breaks thinking about it.

when my time comes, i look forward to the day that instead of me, it will be you dragging me onto the dance floor..
i hope heaven's dance floor lights up like eve does lol

"WHAT'S MY NAME!?" :P
Rest in peace dearest Sandra.

**

If i could make heaven wait
I'd find a way to ask god if he had
Made some mistake
If he'd save your wings
For another day
If only i could make heaven wait