you are so yesterday
won't let you rain on my parade
don't wanna hear a thing you say

so yesterday ..

I've gotten so accustomed to tuan sleeping over.. that when he isn't with me at night i feel very uneasy and unsettled.. is that a word? lol

its weird now, its like i get very panicky & i have trouble breathing
and then the nightmares come

not sure whats going on but hasn't been going on for long, maybe its cos of the sleeping pills i was taking to help me go to sleep when he wasn't around or when i had work early the next day..

will see if it continues
i hope i'm not that attached to him cos thats just border line crazy
but i wouldn't be surprised
i am pretty crazy.. haha

weathers been good so been taking momo out for walks... havent joined a gym yet, havent applied for jobs, havent done much at all...
except learning how to cook a little and cleaning up every now and then

need to get a haircut, maybe i'll book it in for thursday before our little getaway to torquay =) going to torquay on friday morning and staying til sat night for our anniversary celebration..

almost 8 years!

when people ask.. how do you do it, how do you make it work and how do you know that his the one? ... i wish i could just let them feel how i feel for even a glimpse of a moment
an immense sense of happiness and contentment (again.. is that a word or am i just making them up as i go? lol) where you know that its a love that simply cannot ever fade hohooh i should write romantic novels LOL

but seriously... you just know, deep down in your heart, there is no doubt, there is no contemplation
& sometimes its too good to be true, i get worried at times.. that there is something that is going to get in the way & that life can't be that easy ... am i really that lucky? to have found the one in such a short amount of time that i get to spend the rest of my life with him

sometimes i just have to keep praying that we do get a lifetime together.. because i can't help feel that it really is too good to be true.

haha, its funny how different people have completely different ideas and want completely different things...

i've never thought about it any other way and when someone says something that conflicts with what you want, you're like .. oh yeah, i can see how if i was in your situation i would probably be thinking the exact same thing

it's just weird when you think about it :P

yeah, that made no sense whatsoever
but i really need to get off my ass soon
this being a bum is turning me into a real slob.. so much fat
need to get exercising
and maybe need to find a job soon haha

sighh

why do i feel like this.. maybe I should stop reading her blog so I dont feel sorry for her but its just so damn addictive..

I feel sorry for her then hang out with her then I'm like wdf crossed my mind when I decided to hang out with her.. she drives me crazy, every single thing she does gets on my nerves

what puzzles me  is how she doesnt get the hint? I'm far from nice to her.. I never pick up her phone calls even though she rings me so many times and I always make up excuses to not spend time with her... apart from saying it to her face I dunno?

I am definitely not the only one who feels this way so I know its not just me.

its sad.. its sad cos she doesn't have any other friends - once again doesnt that say something?

I've put up with years of u and now... I dont have to anymore yet somehow I feel responsible for u and I hate that feeling

its so irritating just like you

There's a million girls around but I don't see no one but you

Girl you're so one in a million
You are
Baby you're the best I ever had
Best I ever had
And I'm certain that
There ain't nothing better
No there ain't nothing better than this

I fly with the stars in the skies,
I am no longer trying to survive,
I believe that life is a prize,
But to live doesn’t mean you’re alive,
Don’t worry bout me and who I fire
I get what I desire it’s my empire
And yes I call the shots I am the umpire
I sprinkle holy water upon a vampire, vampire
And this very moment I’m king
This very moment I slay Goliath with a sling,
This very moment I bring
Put it on everything that I will retire with the ring,
And I will retire with the crown, Yes
No I’m not lucky I’m blessed, Yes
Clap for the heavyweight champ, Me
But I couldn’t do it all alone, We
Young Money raised me, grew up out in Paisley
Southside Jamaica, Queens and it’s crazy
Cuz I’m still hood, Hollywood couldn’t change me
Shout out to my haters, sorry that you couldn’t faze me
Aint being cocky we just vindicated, best believe that when were done
This moment will be syndicated, I don’t know this night just reminds me
Of everything that they deprived me of,
Put ya drinks up, it’s a celebration every time we link up
We done did everything they can think of
Greatness is what we wanna brink up.